btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I could fuck to npr.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
