ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
