I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
