somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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