batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
