I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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