someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
