her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
