and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
