I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
