who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
