Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
