and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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