In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We got so high we made milksteak
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
