I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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