Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
