I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
