There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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