omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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