so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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