I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
