you traded sex for a burrito?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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