i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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