You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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