I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
