just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
