I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
