omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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