So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
