why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
