the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
