Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
