Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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