Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize