Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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