this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
