i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I smell like Dick and happiness
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
