I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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