I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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