So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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