shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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