i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
