it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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