So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
