What a fucking waste of an outfit
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
