You smell like stripper and shame
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
