i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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