Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
