I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
