no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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